I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac*
From “Boys of Summer” by Don Henley

*for those who may not know…Deadheads were devout followers of the band The Grateful Dead and were often seen as the epitome of antiestablishment.
The Cadillac was used as the symbol used to represent achieving the highest rung of the establishment.

There is an old joke attributed to George Bernard Shaw about a young lady at a dinner; the gentleman seated next to her asks if she would sleep with someone for a million dollars. Without hesitation she replies she would. He then asks if she’d sleep with him for a twenty.
Astonished, she says “what kind of girl do you think I am?”
He replies, “We’ve established that, we’re just haggling about the price.”
***

Ask just about anyone if they were truly surprised about Gov. Blagojevich and deep down they will usually admit that no, they really weren’t. What they felt was a confirmation that politicians are a lot like the young lady above, it depends on the price.

Byram Karasu, a professor of psychiatry at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, says that “for a seasoned prostitute, there is no shame or guilt associated with their being merchants of the flesh. If caught, they spend a night in jail.”

Because of headlines, we are now conditioned to accept that many of our elected officials spend a lot of time haggling price, and whether it be sex, money, power or fame, what is for sale is not just their office but their souls.

Renana Brooks, a psychologist and director of The National Institute for the Study of the American Unconscious says that Blagojevich may not have seen himself as auctioning off Obama’s senate seat so much as acting as a tough negotiator. “He would probably tell you that he wasn’t selling it.”

Psychiatrists say many people tend to believe that “if what I’m doing I think is right, it must be right” even when we would agree it was wrong if others were doing the same thing…that our reasons for doing it are pure.

I’m learning to take a few minutes each evening and reflect on the day. Were my actions and words righteous or did I sell myself for twenty bucks? It’s easy to justify your deeds to yourself; can you justify them to God? Was I like the above mentioned Deadhead sticker, proclaiming I was something but showing the world a different face?

As I make my list of things I hope to change, I realize that I’m not too far gone…I still have a sense of guilt and shame…and unlike the prostitute, I’m don’t plan on going “back to jail” not because I hope I won’t get caught but because I plan on changing my ways.
Like the Governor, did I justify my actions based on what I want to be right or what was really right?

In my personal beliefs, my soul is not for sale…it’s already been bought and paid for, my job now is to daily ensure that I’m paying it back by working toward doing the right things not because I think they are right, but because a standard has been set for me to judge my actions. I may not measure up but it won’t stop me from keeping my eyes on that goal.
Ask yourself each evening, Who are you? Like the deadhead sticker, do you try to present yourself as someone other than who you really are? Who is setting the standard that you measure yourself against?


I know there's a place you walked

Where love falls from the trees

My heart is like a broken cup

I only feel right on my knees

I spit out like a sewer hole

Yet still receive your kiss

How can I measure up to anyone now

After such a love as this?

Who Are You? I Really Want To Know….

Roger Daltry/Pete Townsend/The Who


“I’m not who I want to be, I’m not who I’m going to be…But thank God I’m not who I used to be”.

Peace.

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Over 40 years ago, I met George Atkins. Although I do not recall the exact date, the memory of that exact moment comes to the surface often, and that meeting, and subsequent encounters made a huge impact on my life.

George was the first black kid in my class at school, and he was assigned the seat next to mine. George gave me the experience of see racism and prejudice up close and personal.

This was not my first moment to be this associated with a black child. As a “poor white” family, I’d spent many days in the cotton field and as a result I’d had many times of playing in those same fields with several kids, both black and white. Never did my mom or dad say anything negative about the friendships I forged while we were toiling under the hot sun with a hoe or a cotton sack.

In a recent interview with the actor Will Smith, they discuss various rumors about his “involvement” with Scientology. His response was “Fear of other religions means you're questioning your own understanding, and that's just not where I am.” He discusses his Baptist upbringing and his unshakable faith. That gives him the strength to examine other religions without fear of losing his own.

That struck a chord with me. As one of our local radio hosts says about wearing pink, only a very secure man can do that without worry.

I have friends of different religions, different life styles, different skin color and extremely different social and financial ends of the spectrum. While each has a slight influence in my life, none can change my core beliefs.

As Will said, that’s just not where I am.

Today, I’m thankful for George for teaching me that I can overcome racial issues that I have nothing to fear. I’m thankful I’ve been blessed with being able to have such a diverse group of friends in part because I learned to be secure in who I am.

I don’t fear a people, a religion, or lifestyles. Oh, I’m slightly afraid of crazies with weapons but so far I don’t see that confined to any certain group.

Today, I need to get out the axe and work on that beam in my own eye before I say anything about the speck in yours. My hands are full worrying about getting my life “right” without poking my nose in you r business worrying if your living life according to my beliefs.

These past months have taught me that the less hate or prejudice you have in your heart, the more room there is for love, and that I need to spend more time learning to live in His image and less trying to mold you into mine.

Peace

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I work with bums. Literally. Homeless, hungry, nothing-to-their-names, down & out bums. They’ve been one of those scary people you see hanging out in parking lots of convenience stores begging for change.

One actually went around the neighborhood knocking on doors begging for can goods because he was hungry. The other was sitting in a hotel room, trying to find work, his fiancé undergoing chemo for a brain tumor. Another was an unemployed roofer, actually willing to work for food.

Over the years, I’ve worked with several of those type men. For a multitude of reasons, they are unemployed yet willing to work, they are willing to beg because they are hungry (and sadly, they need cigarettes…you’d think that’d be one thing they would give up but the more desperate some get, the more they turn to something).

Last week, I listened as a “pillar of the community” and professed leader in his church go into a tirade about street people. I was stunned. His beliefs were so far from the truth it was a shock that he was uttering those words. I might have expected it from some less educated, from people with no real ties to the community, but this was someone who ought to know better.

…”lazy, don’t want to work, expecting me and you to support them and their habits.”

Could be. I’ve seen some of those folks in the soup kitchen line, and could probably find a dozen con artists, shiftless and lazy bums who not only won’t work but will expend more energy figuring angles than earning a penny

But what about those others?

David was down and out. No work, no food, nothing. He couldn’t pay his rent, utilities, and was down to looking for cigarette butts along the curb. He had zero skills. As a former gang member, about all he knew was a life of violence and drugs, theft and doing what he wanted and taking when he could.

Today, he is a semi-skilled painter, laborer, willing to work even when he doesn’t know the job. I’ve seen him tackle just about anything to earn a living. He’s cleaned up demolished houses, built flower beds, painted whole houses (interior and exterior) and has tried his hand at roofing, sheetrock, and is learning basic carpentry.

In his words: he was given a chance to become something better.

When this so-called pillar of the community finished his little petty tirade, I asked him point blank: is this what you think God wants you to do? Trash talk them so you can ignore them?

His response told me everything I needed to know. “People have to want to help themselves before you can help them.”

Sadly, I walked away. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.

One of my goals has been to do something for someone every day. Some days I can’t do much more than offer a word of encouragement, sometimes a dollar, and occasionally I can really splurge and offer something substantial. But every day, I try.

Don’t become indifferent. Don’t look for excuses. Look for opportunities. There are people out there that really do need and want a hand up, but you have to get out there to find them.

The mission field isn’t in front of the pulpit; it is on the sidewalk just down the street. It’s huddled in the cold house across the way. It’s standing in line at the soup kitchen. It’s where the truly needed are searching for hope.

And it’s up to us to find them, not ignore them.

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We have a tendency to make things a lot harder than they really are. Of course, the problem sometimes isn’t us, it’s everyone else.

Over the years, I’ve tried to teach my sons that most of the time, life is not always hard. I sort of jokingly advised them that there are really only three things they needed to do, three simple rules.

1. Take responsibility for your own actions
2. Marry for love
3. Never buy cheap paint.

1. We have a tendency to blame others for our mistakes. One of the greatest strengths of people I’ve learned to admire the most is that they don’t point the finger when things are their fault. They “man up”. But along with that taking of responsibility, they examine their actions and work to turn the mistake into something positive.
2. People tend to marry for so many wrong reasons. I wish I could explain love. Millions of poems and stories have been written about it. Like the cliché, if I have to explain it you probably wouldn’t understand. Looks, money, sex, companionship. How many divorces are there because the criteria for marriage forgot love?
3. You get what you pay for. This is true in not only products but people. Invest wisely in quality. On the other hand, learn that there is a vast difference sometimes in cost and quality. Paying a high price for a cheap item is throwing your money away. There are so many things in life that we fail to examine for quality and accept second best because we just couldn’t wait (see item 2).

Everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten?
Not me, everything I needed to know I learned from Rock Lyrics:
Lynyrd Skynyrd taught me that instead of making things so complicated, I really just needed to be a Simple Man



Well mama told me, when I was young
Said sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this, it'll help you some sunny day

Or take your time don't live to fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget that there's is a someone up above

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need now is in your soul
And you can do this(oh baby)if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied

Oh don't you worry
You'll find yourself
Follow your heart
And nothing else
And you can do this(oh baby)if you try

All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied
And be a simple kind of man
Be a something that you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can(if you can)

**
Learn to love others, love yourself, Love God and then follow your heart.
It really is that simple.
We just make it harder than it really is.

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Isn't love strange?
A word we arrange
With no thought or care
Maker of despair
The Moody Blues From ‘Isn’t Life Strange’

Why is it so hard to say? On the other hand, why is it sometimes so easy to say it without sincerity? Women find it easier to say, unless it is the other love, that one and only person. Then, they find themselves hesitant, waiting to be sure. Most men find it easy to say to women, glibly whispering the words…without meaning them
We’ve found ways to say it without it sounding too intimate.
“I love you, man” became a catch phrase that allowed guys to say it as though joking.
“Love you guys” is a way to end a conversation without actually pinpointing the individual and saying specifically “I love you”.

Funny how we’re becoming more and more capable of expressing hate.
As Larry Norman (Christian singer/songwriter) noted:
the Beatles sang “All You Need is Love” and then they broke up.
And that breakup turned into some real battles.

Or as Meatloaf noted one of his songs “I swore that I’d love you until the end of time.
But God only knows what I can do right now
I'm praying for the end of time
it’s all that I can do'

In our teens, we’re taught that the phrase we hated to hear was “I love you….as a friend”.
Today, we find it difficult to express ourselves to our friends and commit to them what we feel.

I love you.

We are scared to say it for so many reasons (and all of them wrong). Can’t say it man-to-man, can’t say it to any female but my wife/husband. Don’t want it misconstrued as something it isn’t.

Can we get past that teenage angst and say: I love you? As a friend, as a fellow human being, as a fellow traveler on this planet?

Do I have regrets? Many, but the one that haunts me most is and was failing to tell people I loved them, and now it’s too late.

The changing
Of sunlight
to moonlight
Reflections of my life
Oh how they fill my eyes
The greetings
Of people in trouble
Reflections of my life
Oh how they fill my eyes

Marmalade (Reflections of my life)

How you deal with it really isn’t my problem. My problem is only that I might miss the chance to tell you.
It’s okay if it is one way.

Hey. Friend. I love you.

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Facing the day.


I chanced upon an old newspaper we used to wrap some stuff in storage. Of course I stopped what I was doing and looked it over, amazed at the changes that have occurred over the years, the ads andwow, the prices!

Turning to the back, I tripped down memory lane. The Sunday Funnies. Comics I haven’t seen for a long time. Strips that my kids don’t recognize. And there, in the middle of the page, a character that I’d forgotten about yet have seen in reality most of my life.
Joe Btfsplk from Dogpatch USA.
Joe was the epitome of bad luck. A dark rain cloud over his head day and night, misfortune followed him everywhere he went and spilled over onto those he was near. I know people just like him.

I’ve noticed him more and more. We are becoming a society filled with negativity. Even when people try to find a way to rise above it, like the proverbial crab bucket the others grab them with claws of woe-is-me and drag them back down.

Over the past few months, I’ve seen both sides up close.
An acquaintance was diagnosed with cancer, a type that while incurable (to date); there are many options and treatments available, along with various changes in diet and some herbal/holistic remedies that offer at least a better quality of life. It’s still in a fairly early stage, so the outlook is measured in years, not months.

On the other hand, there is Nancy. Short term outlook is not good with very few options.

You know what’s coming.

The acquaintance is a miserable human being. The dark cloud grows larger with each day.

In contrast, I wake up to a warm smile and a cheerful good morning. Every day is filled with the joy of being alive. What is more amazing is each day is viewed as gift. Moments of complaining are just wasted minutes.

Why do we ignore the simple lessons of life? I know who I want to be around. I’ve found over the years that I love being around positive people. Oh, we complain about things, but usually the things we complain about were caused or caused by negative people.

I know a little of that ‘dark side’. I suffer from bouts of depression, and I hate it. But, like the old joke about the guy hitting himself in the head with the hammer (it feels so good when I stop) I’ve learned to embrace those infrequent bouts because I know when I get past them how good things really are.

And as I watch and listen to my wife each day, I’ve learned I still have a long way to go.

Each day I pray I can wrap myself in a positive attitude, for both of us. I truly believe that like old Joe, you can have the rain cloud, or with a change in attitude, you get the rainbow.

And at the end, the pot of gold.

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Today, I see the magic of what took place Tuesday night. Like it or not, it was a historic moment in our history. In the past year, those of us who tried to get past the rhetoric and garbage that usually mark a political campaign were able to see that barriers were being shattered.

Glass ceiling? They can say it was cracked but the truth is it has been broken. Now it is just a matter of the right person climbing on through. Race barrier? Knocked down and hopefully it will never be put back in place. Age? It was thrown in the mix the same as gender and race, and just like those supposed restraints, we knew in our hearts it wasn’t age but a slight risk of illness that was the real issue. I wish I had the stamina amd strength exhibited by Sen. McCain.

None of those so-called issues were a barrier to me. Back in the 70s, I got past so many issues and sometimes have trouble understanding people who still cling to them. I look around at the diverse group of friends I have and I realize how much I wish the world could be as loving and accepting.

The past months have caused me to do a lot of looking at myself. No matter how much I like to think I’ve read or talked about facing mortality, when you come face-to-face with it up close and personal, it makes you rethink everything you believe.

This election has been a major part of discussions in my home. For the first time, Nancy has been watching, reading, and learning not only about issues but about the individuals. Our children discuss politics and issues with us, and ask questions that have us running to the computer to Google because we realize we know less about the process than we thought we did.

But Tuesday night was when I came to realize that we’d been following this campaign as a sort of parallel to what we’ve been going through. For months, we’ve been bombarded with news of the ills of the world. On another historic front, our economy crashed and the term Global Market became a true reality. Friends and family were affected by the housing market nose-dive. Wars, rumors of wars, and the terrible costs were a daily factor in the mix of campaign promises. Budgets of states, counties and cities were being decimated and like rain, ice and freezing temperatures can destroy a roadway, slashed funding can leave us with giant potholes in the infrastructure of our country.

I think about my life and many of the things that molded and shaped me into the being I am today. As I reflect on why I chose to vote the way I did, I come to the cold realization that even though many of the promises (or lies) were a part of my decision making process, the moment I entered the voting booth those were not the reason I voted like I did.

Experience taught me long ago that campaign promises are usually broken, that there is no magic wand to solve the ills and problems, that if it was really as simple and easy as putting a person in office, we wouldn’t be in the shape we are in today.

Like millions of others, I don’t think I voted because I thought my candidate would actually fix all of this.

I voted the way I did because for the first time in years I was tired of fear.

Today, the world isn’t better, the sun isn’t brighter, the birds don’t sing any sweeter. And I’ll still be scared at times and I’ll fret and fume and verbally flail at what I don’t understand.

But I’ll not give in to fear.

Today, I cling to hope. Be it physical, mental or spiritual, I cast my vote. And from the reaction around the world, it seems millions share that hope, maybe in a different way but for right now, we share hope.

Do we truly have the power of positive thinking?

I think we have the chance to find out.

Today, as an individual, I’ll give it a try.

After all, what have I got to lose?

In my fellow man, in eternity, in God.

I vote hope.

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